I Feel Pains Going…..🙄😁😭

 

Processed with VSCO with b5 presetTonight I’m feeling nostalgic and emotional. This whole week has been pretty hectic with our church’s anniversary on Friday and Sunday service was touching. I  heard the Lord speak to me this whole week in various ways. Who knew that having the leadership of youth was going to be so hard. I thought I had it all figured out; I never thought that I had gotten myself so comfortable; that at the first sign the enemy was going to attack my life emotionally and spiritually. Back in the day when God called me to be a youth leader I obeyed to his will but it came to be a hard thing for me to handle. During that time I was dealing with my mother’s health problem, with raising Zahid and my own depression; I just quit the leadership because I couldn’t see the end of that hole that I felt like I was in.

Move forward 4 years later I’m in a different church that the Lord move me to ; two years ago. And he again called me to be a youth leader. And let me tell you I did not want this leadership, I had been just starting to feel the ground under my feet in my spiritual life. But I again obeyed because the Lord pleases more on obedience than sacrifice( 1. Samuel 15:22 ). I feel like I’m more mature spiritually and mentally since the last time I was called but the test and trials are still the same or sometimes even worse. No one told me this was going to be hard; no one told me that it would feel like my spiritual life would feel like it was draining. 

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This is me at times. Lord help me!

But in the midst of everything I know God will call me out when I’m in despair and with wanting to QUIT. I always wonder to myself and I ask God in my head( I know right pretty weird for a lot of people but for me it’s second nature😂 I’m pretty crazy sometimes; my bestie would say all the time. Hi Anderson😭) why he gave me this huge responsibility when I’m not kidding you guys; I’m the most anti-social and not so much modern person for the teens in my church. Sometimes I feel as if my mentality is of an old lady. I’m not joking and not much of a person that goes out, or likes to play video games and stuff like that. I’m more the typical person that is always seating in the first row of the church and talking with elders at the end of service.  Maybe I grew up to fast in my teens; I mean I pretty much had different responsibilities than the youth nowadays.

But let’s get back to the subject I was feeling pretty down since a couple of weeks; but the Lord kinda gave me a whooping (spiritually) because in my heart I did not have the desire to continue with the leadership but he pretty much  called me a ” COWARD” and to not let go of what he had given me in two days.  If that’s not a whooping I don’t know what it is then. That picture was me by the end of Sunday 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼😂service I felt that reprimand to the depth of my soul. Sometimes I wonder to my self where would I be or where would all humanity be if Jesus had at the end back out from taking the step of becoming the sacrifice we needed to have salvation. And it shames me deeply that we having what he did not are still so coward in our way of walking with the Lord.IMG_0167

I feel to the depths of my souls that the reason Jesus hasn’t rapture the church is because his children are not in one accord. We are like a toddler trying to get into the ocean; they take a step into the sea 🌊 and then they run screaming the other way. And that’s what we do. We dip our feet in a relationship with God but when things become difficult we are like ” let me back up a moment”, ” why is it so hard?” Or my favorite ” nah I don’t want it anymore let me go back to what I think I’m missing.” Goodness we are such an ungrateful race that even though he gave his life on the cross we still doubt him. I know that when things don’t go how I was expecting me I do. 

2 Peter 3:8

” But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day”

Sometimes I imagine myself at the wedding of the lamb and I bet it’s going to be so beautiful 😍 and in that moment I’m going to say it was worth every tears , sadness, anger, prayer,joy and every compassion and love to be here in this moment. Yesterday I was present at one of my aunt’s wedding and it was beautiful. It was a simple ceremony with just family and my pastor’s family it was a spurred of the moment kind of thing.  And it reminded me of that phrase that they say that in a blink of an eye the coming of the Lord will be. I can’t imagine myself not prepared. Why is this so hard but at the same time so BEAUTIFUL.💜

P.S. I forgot to tell you I caught the bouquet yesterday at the ceremony. It has become a tradition last year my aunt caught it from another aunt that got married and now me. Oh well that means I need to get ready for that big wedding… in the heavens 😂😭 I’m still to young to get married👀😭 bye Felicia.

Remeber to like, comment and share; let’s spread the word of his mercy and Love. God bless you all. Love you guys❤️

The 🚞 is Leaving Me😔🤔😂

Hello my Warriors I  been gone for a few days I bet you guys missed me, just kidding I don’t think that actually happened. Anyways today I’m going to talk about the expression that is as the tittle of my blog post tonight and what it means to me and some other juicy stuff.

That saying is so used in the latino culture that I just cringed thinking about it. The worldly meaning of that saying is that if you don’t marry early on; you might not marry later on when you are older. Ridiculous right, well in my country a lot of the young lady’s marry early on from the age of 14 and that’s probably your face there

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼.

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That’s my face two when random people ask me if I’m married or have kids nowadays. And I politely say ” Sir/ Madam I’m sorry to dash your dreams but I’m not.” Just kidding I just respond I don’t. However that’s  not what I’m going to talk about. You guys might not know or I’m not sure if I told you guys my age. But I’m 21 years old; still live with my parents and most important I am a JESUS FREAK! Yes there I said it.  I love JESUS and I LOVE GOD and I’m a BELIEVER and I’m NOT married 🙄😭😂.

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When I was younger and wet behind my ears; I thought I had everything figured out but I was in for the surprise of my life. When I graduated high school at the age of 16 ; I never thought that my life would take a different course. I had everything planned. What  college I was going to, what major I was going to pursue, but  God had a different plan. I never imagined that two months after I graduated the college that I was going to go to was going to charge me triple the amount for tuition or that my scholarship was not going to be enough to cover my tuition. I screamed, I cried out, I yelled and blamed God. Because I thought this was the path I was supposed to take. You know that the world tells you in different ways ; through movies, tv shows, books that you have to be a certain way. That you have to go to college, hook up, get drunk, have sex, get married, have kids, get rich but the world does not tell you to search for God first and foremost.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

I thought my life had ended that my years were passing by super fast💨. And sometimes family or family members or even friends instead of giving encouragement; they bring you down. And that happened to me instead of supporting me; they would declare that phrase for my life when they told me or asked me; why wasn’t I going to college.  But I nor they did not see the plan that God had in store. I did not know that a few months after that email I was going to be the care taker of a one year old little cousin; that later on would become like my child. A child that was malnourished, neglected and had no love from his mother after she abandoned him. God knew the path my life was going to take, he knew the maturity I had to gained. That same boy I was going to raise for 4 years and half of those years were the years my family was going through the most difficult trials ever. We saw no escape, no light but this child would bring laughter and joy to our family and house. And to my life most importantly; while I was going through a depression and addiction of my own.

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Isn’t he handsome?

It has been five years since I graduated high school and some of those years were the most depressing, worrisome, joyful and growing years in my life. I might not have a degree at this moment, I might not have a husband or family of my own. But I do have the love of God and a child that I have cried , prayed  and loved. My life might not be what the world wants but it’s the life that God is planning and developing every single day. I believe that God’s timing is perfect; don’t rush over something that later on will bring heartache, confusion, depression and most of the time will depart you from God’s path. My ministry is there and I will believe with all my heart that God will use me for his honor and glory. And that even though the train might leave without me, I know that God has the answers for every aspect of my life.

Proverbs 3:5 

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Anyways this is the  conclusion of of this beautiful story I wish to bestow upon you guys this night. God loves you and he has a purpose for your life. God bless and  don’t forget to like, comment or even share. Let’s spread his Word and Love through the nations( actually in this moment through the internet😉😂) you guys know what I mean right. God bless and I’m gonna leave you with this classic…..


Nighty night😴

Cloud of Blessing☁️🌧☁️🌧

img_1802Last week was a week where God moved in so many different ways in my life and others. In last week post I talked about how my brother accepted Jesus Christ as his savior; however on today’s post I will be talking about something different.

Last week where I live at it rained most of the week. But I never thought of the miraculous rain of blessing that will visit my life in a completely mysterious way. What I’m gonna tell you guys, some of you will probably have these thoughts;

“no way”, “she is lying” or “For real”.

Mark 5:19

” Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you”

Let me tell you that same thing happened last week and yesterday Monday. Anyways; do you guys remember that around two weeks and a half I posted about my sprained foot.Well I quit my job because, I’m not able to work and  I can’t put too much pressure on my foot; because I get a throbbing pain in my foot. I only had five days of work in those two weeks. My parents and I; we were going through a difficult financial problem. My parents were laid off for five months with no work whatsoever and I was the only one working at that moment.

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This is where your shock or surprise might come in. Two weeks ago I only had about seven or ten  dollars in my checking account and the pay I had gotten was not enough( I was a waitress). The amount of money I had to pay in those bills was about $500. Anyways let me get to the point; when I went to deposit my pay I had about $80 more in my checking account. I check and double checked my account to see if money had been deposited but it showed no deposit. And yesterday that I was checking my account after paying those bills of last week I was supposed to have only about $30 in my account but again that didn’t happen. I had $187 in my account and no deposit had been made in my account.

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GUys  I seriously don’t know where this money keeps coming from, but I truly believe that God is with me and he is  providing for me as he provided for the Israelites in the desert  ( Exodus 16).

Matthew 6:33

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

I’m telling you guys this testimonial, because I truly believe that we need to spread this kind of stuff out to the world. My pastor he would give this type of testimonials were random people from different states would send him money because they had a dream about him where God spoke to them to send him some; when he was going through a financial crisis. And I would always say inside my mind;

“pshh I wish that would happen to me.” Well let me tell you that has happened and I still can’t believe it.

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P.S. Alright  God bless and I hope you guys like this new blog post. Leave me some comments . Remember to share, like and comment this blog post. Love you guys💜