Forgiveness.. When is the time?

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There is a song by one of my favorite bands called “Forgiven.” I bet all of you guys know who I’m talking about( Drum Roll Please…….) CROWDER(YAY) Just kidding  not many people like their music or know them. However their music always have a deeper meaning in the lyrics reason number one I like them. However that’s not what I will be talking about.

As I was driving today to my job; I had the K-Love station on and this song came through. As I was jamming to the song this thought came to my mind” When is the appropriate time to Forgive.” not just everyone else but also yourselves for your failings and setbacks in your walk with God and more.

Forgiven! Forgiven!
Child there is freedom from all of it
Say goodbye to every sin
You are forgiven!

When you have been or are being bullied in school or online, physically , mentally or sexually abused by people for years or just one time and you are left with the physical, mental and emotional but also  a lot of time spiritual scars; when is the appropriate time for you and I to forgive. If someone had told me that to start the healing process I needed to forgive my aggressor; I would have probably bit, kick or hit the person that told me that. But because I did not start the process of healing the right way anger and hatred simmered in my heart not towards my aggressor but my mother.

As many of you know I was raised in my home country of Honduras which is in Central America if one of you is wondering. My parents left me and my brother’s really young to provide for us as we had been hit by hurricane Mitch at the time they left. I was raised by my grandmother( my mom’s mom) until the age of 9. To make the story short after my traumatic experience I developed hatred and anger towards my mother because she had left me instead of taking me with her. My anger and hatred was directed toward the wrong person. But my healing process did not start until I met Jesus in 2008 and actually wanted to be freed from all that happened to me.

In the years of my healing process I never thought back on the guy who abused me but instead on what I was doing; in my failings to walk the correct path with God. In not been perfect enough, holy enough, or sanctified enough as I was going through a rebellious, and sexual immoral phase in my teen years. Because I never thought of him I never forgave him for his part in causing me such traumatic experience. I was afraid of being alone with my brothers and father that’s how deep the root of what had happened was ingrained me. 

I think if I had been taken to see a psychologist or counselors I would have been diagnosed with PTSD and have never been taken from medication. But God had a purpose for me and my path was not easy but I’m still here. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally was able to forgive my aggressor and was able to finally laid to rest this experience nowadays I only talk about it in reference to something I have to speak about or if God asks me to give the testimony during a preaching. Being able to move on and start the healing process is not until you have healed but before you start it.  You will never let those demons rest until you have forgiven the person who mistreated you or cause such a deep heartache in you.

4 Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

I forgave my mother for not being there; not protecting me from the situation and my aggressor because if I hadn’t I  would have never let have gone of those chains tying me to my past or being freed at all. Jesus forgave his accusers and tormentors while he was being whipped, nailed and pierced. He gave them the absolution from their sins; only the father was able to take vengeance for what was done to his son as only him can do  justice to what was done to me or what has been done or is being done to you.

I’m no saint but I can tell you that even though forgiving first before the healing process will hurt; you will be happy at the end of it. We can be light in the darkness; be separate from everyone else. Be the light that directs to Jesus. We will never be free nor be able to heal and enjoy life without forgiving.

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them,for they do not know what they are doing.

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