Righteous or Not

It has been 4 hard months of sadness and lack of faith. These months have been months I have humbled myself and have cried out to God in the most raw way. Months were my faith lacked and my sadness overpowered me, where I could not see the way out and I did not want to see a way out. Months that I questioned my calling, my purpose but most of all questioned God’s Love.

In Psalms chapter 55 verse 22 the following states;

Cast your burden on the LORD, And He shall sustain you; He shall never let the righteous to be moved.

‭‭Months that instead of receiving a word of encouragement I would receive people’s opinions and words of humiliation. Moments where my existence looked dark and felt suffocating and my feelings were all over the place from sadness to joy and joy to anger and back to sadness. Moments were worship was a feeling of emptiness and left me more in that dark place that I was pushed into.

Months were I questioned God’s’ love towards me due to the trial that I was going through. Even though I knew that what I was going through was necessary for me to grow spiritually as well personally. God tests your limits and your faith in ways that are unexpected to you and in times where you are at your most comfortable place. God will put the right people beside you that will push you to move forward from that place where you feel you have been stuck at with a way out. Will give the feeling of fullness and feeling of being enough as well-being capable without hearsay of others. While others will belittle who you are and humiliate you to feel better about themselves God does not let his son/ daughter to be moved from where he has placed them at.

There is a saying there is always a David behind a Saul. And, yes but each David and each Saul will be tested and refined to be the vessel that God will use for a purpose. Don’t belittle who you are in God’s hands nor you belittle someone else because you think you can do it better than them. Always bless the one before you and always bless the one behind you because at the end of the day only God provides and takes away.

P.S. I missed writing and I’m so glad to be back, will try to get up to date as soon as possible. Thank you for supporting me on this ride. God bless♥️ Shalom🕊

2019 A Year Of Victory

Happy 2019 to all of you! 2018 has been a ride of ups and downs; also a year of growth and change within the blog, my spiritual life as well ministry. I can’t thank 2018 enough because it helped me see the flaws within me as well helped me overcome many obstacles that rose up. I finished 2018 declaring victory over all petitions; over conquering the tribulation, murmuring and fear that would not let go. 2019 you will be the year full of victories over the chains that will be broken, over the souls, my ministry, over our house, my family and my job. Last year taught me that it’s not “I” but God who has everything in control.

This year God is testing me in this area; just recently someone told me this ” You are not my leader, and you are not a very good one at all” That sentence came out of nowhere; that little sentence made me doubt the months and years of God working in my life; of the tribulations, over the progress that God has done in my life, made me ask myself what I was lacking but most importantly made me doubt God and his purpose. I kept asking myself these questions, why am I not enough? what’s wrong with me? why am I not seeing any progress? and the door to self-doubt was opened.

To my mind came words of comfort asking me why was I listening to someone that has not even started their own process, have not even begun their journey into the desert. God was comforting me and rebuking me because it’s not what they say, it’s not what they want. God raises leaders that meet the needs of the people but don’t conform to their wants. If Joshua and every other single leader that God lifted had done what the people wanted where would God had glorified himself.

I remember just telling that person; ” that’s fine” and leaving but later that day just crying and asking God so many questions, and to my mind came the story of Joshua and what he went through with the people of Israel; they did not see a leader in him but through him, God gave them the victory of their land. Through him, God rose an army of warriors, through him God did wonders and miracles in the sky.

The LORD told Joshua, “Today I will begin to make you a great leader in the eyes of all the Israelites. They will know that I am with you, just as I was with Moses.

You are what God chose and is making you be, don’t let what anyone says affect you. One thing I do ask and that is that you respect the leadership of the person that is over you. Not because it’s mandated but because, how can you ask God to use you if you do not respect your leader? Why would God lift or even use someone prideful when even the bible says that the prideful he sees from afar and the humble from near. If you are able to respect the leader before you then you are able to respect the one over all of us which is God.

P.C. I hope that this year is a year of blessings but most importantly a year where you see God’s hand move over the small and big victories that will come your way.